Favorite Bumper Stickers of the Week

Be nice to your kids.
They'll choose your nursing home.

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There are three kinds of people:
Those who can count and those who can't.

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Warning:  Dates in calendar are closer than they appear!

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Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

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My kid can beat up your honor student.

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Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

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Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

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Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

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A closed mouth gathers no foot.

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Work is for people who don't know how to fish.

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All generalizations are false.

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Montana -- At least our cows are sane!

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I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

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Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.

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If you don't like the news, go out and make some.

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When you do a good deed,
get a receipt in case heaven is like the IRS.

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Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges.

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I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

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Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

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We have enough youth.
How about a Fountain of Smart?

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He who laughs last thinks slowest.

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Lottery:  A tax on people who are bad at math.

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It IS as bad as you think
and they ARE out to get you.

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Auntie Em...Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog.
Dorothy

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Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

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Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.

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Out of my mind.
Back in five minutes.

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Forget the Joneses, I keep us up with the Simpsons.

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Born free.
Taxed to death.

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The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.

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Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.

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I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.

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Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.

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Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.

If you can read this, I've lost my trailer.

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If you're not a hemorrhoid, get off my butt.

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If that phone was up your butt, maybe you could drive a little better.

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Yes, this is my pickup. No, I will not help you move.

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Cover me.  I'm changing lanes.

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I brake for no apparent reason.

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Forget about world peace.
Visualize using your turn signal.

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No radio - already stolen.

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Keep honking...I'm reloading.

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Caution!  I drive like you do.

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Student Driver
Get out of my way!

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OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?

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Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.

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I'm not as think as you drunk I am.

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So many stupid people...so few comets.

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